Process

 

Beauty existing just in front of me moves me to a different realm, I sense the mystery, something in me is changed

 

The paintings at this point are very complex ,heavy . I still don't know or understand what it means or what it resonates ...

complexity
20.06.16

 

I know when a painting is finished when i sense homeostasis within. There is no longer a need or an urge to touch it, to enter it.

I am with it as an observer. It feels whole.

feeling homeostassis when the painting is finished
03.12.15
seeing both - what is above the surface and what is below
25.10.15

 

On my studio wall hangs a painting that went through  recent transformation.

It had been stocked among other paintings for years,and it wasn't clear to me if it is complete. One morning as I sat in the studio it became clear that I must re-enter it, paint in it again... add brush strokes of energy that did not exist when it was first painted. what you see is the painting as it is at present. Now I feel  the painting reached where it should.

touching a painting after years...
12.01.15

 

Today I needed to stop pondering about where I am just now, to move my body and reach out to colors and brushes and give expression to whatever in me needed to be expressed...

This canvas was waiting for something to meet the flame, to interact with it. Today the flame was met by a movement, not a simple emotional movement, but this meeting felt true to me, and the dance between the opposites was created.

 

encounters with flame
29.06.14

 

The word transparency came to my mind as I sat with the first coffee of the day. Why did it come? Is it because of the night’s dreams that evaporated leaving a thin transparent layer almost undetected on my consciousness? a sensation of knowing - not knowing that feels strange. Things are happening within me and I cannot recall or know all of them...a thin layer of transparency … 

 

a thin layer of transparency
20.05.14
this small painting passed through so many fazes till it became what it should...
26.11.13
feeling change
07.10.13

 

Haze is the sensation I experience at  present. Thinking of it I know it is true. Clarity is partial, revealing something and covering something, then revealing something else which turns into movement and evaporates…

 

partial clarity
22.08.13

The last paintings passed through so much till they reached the white transparent layer again. The white of mist, which reveals left- over’s of form and color, left over experiences. Waiting for the layer to dry, so I can see it more clearly, I realize there is already something waiting to become on the painting. I can almost see it … what I need now is patience, sincerity, courage to express what I experience, that which is forming between conscious and the subconscious, to allow this something to come into expression…

05.05.13

I saw in nature my inner movement,

i paint my inner movement and then find it in nature....

rapid movement
27.01.13

 

capturing the exact colour of my present inner movement brought me a sense of completion

 

the colour of the moment
20.12.12

 

.. This painting captured me today,  I can't withdraw from it. There is something pre-historic about it. It has force, a slow heavy movement and also a powerful flow. There is a path and there is a breakthrough...  the many layers of paint reveal all this

something pre-historic
12.12.12

 

Sometimes it is so hard to wait till the paint dries, so I can see what I have done, where have I reached ? There is an impatience that I have to curb. Get away from the painting ... I must get a perspective ...

 

04.12.12

Mixing the paint revealed the path toward the precise layer of the inner movement. Reaching the correct colour opened the channel to paint with precision what is happening within, where there were no words to describe.

 

28.11.12

There was suddenly so much energy going through me, passing from one painting to the other, adding WHITE.

the white that allows other things to reveal themselves, that takes away the unnecessary , allowing energy to flow...

 

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passing from one painting to the other
22.11.12
the beauty of everyday
04.11.12
seeing beauty
04.11.12

since I came here  today i've been thinking of one painting I painted nearly a year ago.

 I need to look at it if it comes into awareness.

I stocked it away then, not knowing if it is complete.

looking at it now, I realise I can sink into it, feel it vibrate

 

 waiting among the canvases,waiting for me to see it, know it's completeness.

what more in me, in us humans simply awaits for us to know its wholeness?

 

 

knowing its completeness
28.10.12

 

Something passed through me, leaving a veil of knowing.

Vibrating without a reason, leaving transparent tracks then a residue of awareness,

 Something settled in me,

Then evaporated.

 

something passed through me
17.10.12

 

I am in a space between worlds. Aware of the movement occurring within. Gliding, not in frenzy but with awareness. Surfing between inner territories and painting territories, is it all the same?

 

surfing between territories
12.09.12
paint...
15.08.12

 

A clear need of white.
There is a knowing that a path has to be created.
A new movement erupting, creating an opening as if by a great surge of water or wind.
Changing the face of things.
It could have happened only now, not an hour ago, a day ago, last month.
It gives me ease. New air. A feeling that I can move again, breath, enter a different territory...

 

a new movement (detail)
19.08.12

 

I took out one of the latest paintings and I’m sitting facing it. Absorbing each of its sides, standing up, turning it, allowing the painting to penetrate me. It no longer matters what I felt and experienced while painting it. It is an existing surface, a surface with trails of movement, paths of color.

When I took it out of the pile of canvases facing the wall I didn’t know if it was finished. It demanded observing. It demanded not knowing, just like a new person viewing a painting he has never seen, looking with openness, allowing what is happening on the canvas to touch me. Touch me anew each time I look at it...

 

observing
05.07.12

 

The solid image disappeared. There is a calling into a deeper unknown place. a place not yet understood. The wild, virgin place where underground currents are covered  with mist then revealed...

 

out of the mist
27.06.12

 

Today I heard something so simple and beautiful that has to do with my process "... a poet writes poetry because he does not understand, if he would understand he would not write poetry."  (Shabtay Najar)

 

27.06.12

 

it took me some time to realize that I don't need to be in the studio and paint in order to do my art.
sometimes I need to step out... absorb, refill...

 

 

breathing the sea at early morning
14.06.12

 

... how i feel now is so different from where I was when I last worked on these paintings that I can’t possibly approach them. So what now? being there... waiting for something to rise that I can follow inward and from there back to the canvas.This waiting is alert, it is a knowing that there is something else that wants to be present...

 

10.06.12

 

today I painted with eyes that don't see.The blurriness in the eyesight gave freedom to the painting that has nothing to do with sight.

 

a different sight
20.05.12

There is a specific color  waiting. And once I have touched it (reached it), everything unfolds. Just like the right key to a locked case. And this color streams through me, and passes on from one canvas to another, from one painting to the next. Till it stops. The exact color of the soul at a certain time... Color and movement.

29.11.11
studio
05.05.12

 

The paintings call me when I listen
Canvases with history,
wait,
Their backs toward the space
And at one clear moment a color appears for me to mix, feel, know its existence.
The movement occurring within me frees itself into the color, onto the canvas.
And then I need to withdraw. Knowledge of a phase, of one certain moment,
And nothing more can be put upon it.

 

11.04.12

 

I realize that the white is not only air and a new beginning, it is bold. Full of power and movement. It reveals the tracks of the energy and vitality on the canvas 

white leaving energy tracks
01.05.12